I'm Back and More Paranoid than Ever

Here's the deal. I haven't been writing lately for a few reasons, the predominant one being this: I am paranoid. Also? Hooked - no, totally cracked out - on yet another Showtime show that will remain un-named due to said paranoia.

I've been really working on getting freelance work the last few months, and I've scored some, most of which does not pay. Why, I ask, are writers one of the only professions that people feel should work for free? Does it not take brain power? Does it not take hours of our time? Do I have to be first published in Vanity Fair for you to pay me enough to buy a bottle of wine? These are questions I am working on, and wondering why in the hell I got a MA in journalism, anyway. Oh, wait, I know why, because I freaking need to write. I want to write. It's not like I thought it would make me a millionaire.

Get to the point- right. Being an "anon" blogger is a pipe dream. Impossible, eventually. At least, it's proving to be difficult, because once you have some online writing pieces, ones that note: "is the author of the blog momwhodrinksandcusses," under your byline, ones that you use for writing samples, well, they have pretty much found you out. They can google you, and there you are, on Facebook, because you were stupid enough to join. You idiot, why did you list your blog there? You're found. Then, you write some stuff locally. Locally is in what is considered to be a "liberal" and "open-minded" community, for around here. But compared to places like LA or New York, even possibly Omaha, notsomuch. In other places, being the author of momwhodrinksandcusses would hardly raise an eyebrow. But around here, you just never know. If someone wants to find out anything about you, all they have to do is google you, and once they do, if you're out there anywhere, you can indeed be linked to your blog in a few clicks. The place where you vent your frustrations and say goddammit whenever the hells you want. Hells yeah ya do. But not anymore, because you need work.

I was inspired to write this, something I've been feeling for a while, wondering if I should just quit or stick to a cooking for kids blog or something, by partywithaninfant, a real writer(author) who has the opportunity on hers and now another blog to write freely about motherhood in any way she sees fit, including the option to cuss a blue streak. She's totally funny, and in a way cooler location than me, and I envy her, along with the many others out there with similar blogging "voices." I really don't want to give mine up. I might possibly go crazy if I did.

My travel feature (on of course, Venice Beach), is being published (finally, since I sent it in like July), by a great area magazine, and I'm crossing my fingers they don't track me down here before it goes to print and yank it. But I can't help it if I cuss like a sailor, and although I call myself intelligent(well, maybe just smart), maybe it means that I can't find the appropriate words in my vocab so I just cop out and cuss. Like when I play raqcuet ball (yes, this is new). I have effing Touret's. So, I donno, should I clean it up, and appeal to the masses (not that the masses are reading this little blog), or stick to my guns, hoping someone will accept me for my own "voice," drinkin', cussin' and all? And starve.

NOTE: I do believe that intelligent, even highly intelligent people cuss. It's all in how you use it.

As I've said in the past, I suppose momwhodrinkshotteaandknits doesn't really have the right ring to it. Besides, I don't knit.

Additionally? Totally paranoid about local people finding me thru damned Facebook and ratting me out on the MIL posts. Now I have to delete them.

PISS!!!!!!
~R